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Beautiful sentences
A few guidelines on sentence composition...
Use the active voice
The presentation bored everyone silly.
instead of
Everyone was bored silly by the presentation.
Place the most powerful word at the end of the sentence
I came, I saw, I conquered.
instead of
I conquered, after arriving and seeing.
Use positive phrasing
We failed to meet our target.
instead of
We were not successful in meeting our target.
Avoid cliches
Cliches slow a text down and deaden its power. Combined with hyperbole, they invite cynicism, as in 'Under this policy, everyone's a winner.' or 'This is an action plan to make a real difference'.
Vary sentence length and structure
Half the time I have spent in China I have spent in factories. At least that’s how it feels—and it’s a feeling I sought. The factories where more than 100 million Chinese men and women toil, and from which cameras, clothes, and every other sort of ware flow out to the world, are to me the most startling and intense aspect of today’s China. For now, they are also the most important.**
instead of...
I spent half of my time in China in factories. At least I feel that’s how it was—and it’s how I wanted it. I think the factories where more than 100 million Chinese men and women toil, and where cameras, clothes, and every other sort of ware are made for export to the rest of the world, are the most startling and intense aspect of today’s China. I also feel that they are, for now, the most important.
But use the same structure for direct comparisons.
Japan recorded a budget surplus; the United States recorded a deficit.
instead of...
Japan recorded a budget surplus; the United States showed a deficit in its budget.
Find out more
George Orwell's essay 'Politics and the English Language' contains possibly the best writing advice you'll ever read, and it's less than 20 pages long. It's available free at several websites. Google it!
The best book on writing is William Strunk Jr and EB White's The Elements of Style. It counsels writers to 'omit needless words' and, at just over 100 pages, it follows its own advice. White also wrote Charlotte's Web.
* This is from an article by James Fallows in Atlantic magazine, July/August 2007.